Let it go Part I

I think no one dares to ask me why I want to work for my father. My expression seems to say that I don't want to say. In fact, i don't know what to say. Another friend once asked me when I will quit my job and finally look for a 'real' one. I can't help but feel offended. Do I look like I'm playing around?

I got to admit, I have been wilful, I have been complaining, I have been ignoring instructions, doing my own thing, but I try to strive to work hard. When my bout of depression comes, when I think of how my future will look like, I feel a red tide rising in me, creating havoc in my right brain, disabling me and plunge me into 'dun wan to work' attitude. My father tolerates. Poor him knows it's not the simple PMS, he just doesn't know how to say the words to appease/please me. He just avoids until my red tide retreats and I feel chirpy again.

It's a ritual I keep having to endure. Recently, I've learnt how to control it. It's a weakness I know I have to find some way to overcome, the weakness to leave the moment I see something I don't like. My philosophy in life seemed to hinge on this weakness and I want to change that. I don't want to be the person who escapes when the thing gets rough, no one can get far without enduring, persevering, hurdling over all obstacles to get what they want.

I am going to break this habit.

See if I don't.

I will work till I see results.