Me, Willow and being single

I always had doubts about my friendship with Willow. I always balked at friends who freely admit that they would go out with people they don't like. I'm eating my words now.

My relationship with Willow was what in chinese is called "jun zi zhi jiao". In English, it means "a relationship between gentlemen". Or, well, in my case is "ladies". Basically it means that we can be cordial to each other but never be close. It's not that I don't like Willow, I just don't feel thoroughly comfortable with her. Not the feeling I have with J or Y or YT or any other friends. The astrological (or illogical or superstitious) part of my mind thinks that it's because she's a Scorpio. Please refrain from laughing at me. It's true! Up till now, my list of friends though limiting, only has one Scorpio (CY) excluding Willow. And I do have scuffles (mental and verbal ones) with CY. But we have known each other for what? 12 years, we know when to back off when the other is getting on my nerves.

I've decided long ago that I need more friends. Single friends! Friends who can spare you a weekend. Right now, the only one who fits the bill is only Willow.

Somehow I am at a loss at how to describe Willow without making myself sound petty or foolish. She told me I was too hung up with THAT GUY in my dream," ...so long already, you should meet other guys..." I mean, so what if THAT R/S was the only one I had, and the only one I thought I could cite some experience from? I treasure the memories, that's all. The fact that I could say it out is because I have accepted the fact that IT is OVER.

I feel nothing wrong with being single as long as you are happy, the only time I'm unhappy about it is when friends and relatives ask why, and when. It seems that it's the only thing they have to say to you.

I strive to be happy by myself. I'm working towards it.